The Grace of God in Time of Trouble: Deana Benninger
February 25, 2008
On January 31, 2008, I found out the hard way that the Lord is always with us whether we notice it not! I wasn’t home at the time everyone in my subdivision was evacuated due to a fire. By the time we got to the entry of our subdivision, we could see numerous flaming areas of grass in the lot on our corner with some flames being 10 feet high and spreading
faster than you could blink. The scary thing is that our house wasn’t far from that grassy lot; only a few fences and a yard separated the flames from our home!
The police blocked off the entry and wouldn’t let me get our dog Bella out of our house no matter how much I pleaded with the officer. He said,
“Pets are insignificant and they don’t matter!” That really upset me, because for us Bella is a family member and our dog child. And yes, she is
just a dog, but she is irreplaceable just as any human is. I know he was just doing his job, but I was already beside myself at this point and his
words only made me feel worse about the situation and somehow I felt I was betraying Bella. I second-guessed all the decisions I had made earlier
that day and wondered if I had done this or that if I would have been home at the time and could have gotten her to safety.
My first call was to get Josh by my side, and the next was to call Father Chip to get him praying for a good outcome for the situation. I figured if I
got enough people praying maybe God would hear us and spare our home and Bella. I didn’t care about our home during the chaos since that’s what insurance is for. Sure it would have been an inconvenience to be out of a home and all our things gone, but they could be replaced…not
Bella!
Josh was able to meet my mom and me where we were stationed at a small shopping strip adjacent to our subdivision. But all we could do was stand and watch and wonder for nearly three and a half hours. We spoke with others who lived in our neighborhood while we were watching the fire department try to put out the flames. But some of the stories had our minds working overtime with what if’s. It was excruciating not knowing if our house was on fire or if our dog was alive or dead, especially since we keep her crated when we are not home. An odd coincidence is not more than a few weeks earlier we had ADT come out and install a wired smoke detector so she would be more protected if something happened when we were not home. I called them and they assured me that no alarms were going off inside our home. So that put me at ease for a little bit, but when I was looking at flames so close to our home, little could calm me down.
By the time they let us walk back into our subdivision, we could see some homes had their yards and fences totally torched back to front. There
was probably smoke damage to detached garages and homes closer to the flames. To my knowledge, no one’s home was completely destroyed.
Some people’s pets that were outside did suffer from smoke inhalation, though I’m not sure if any were really hurt or died. However, looking at one person’s home, it looked so bad it seemed that the dogs in the backyard would have died!
When we got back to our house, I grabbed Bella and Josh looked out the back door. He saw that more than 50% of our backyard was scorched, and there was about the same amount of damage to our back and side fence. The fire department had knocked down a section of our fence to fight the fire and used our water hose to help keep it from starting back up. We had to leave again, and it was nearly two hours later that everyone was allowed back for good. At that point we could see truly how lucky everyone was.
One neighbor’s yard was a total loss, but the neighbor on the other side wasn’t even touched! We were very lucky that it didn’t hit the house,
although one part of the fire in the back yard came six inches from the back of our home. On the other side of the yard, the burned grass didn’t
come as close and that was the area where Bella was closest. But seeing the path the fire took convinced me it could have only been God that
spared the area near where Bella was kept in our bedroom on the back wall.
The thing that made it so bad that day was that the winds were reported anywhere from 25-55 mph. The news said that a power line snapped nearby. When it hit the ground, it caused a spark and as dry as it was in that field, it seemed like less than five minutes before the whole thing lit up. The news said 20-30 acres were burned just in this little area. Luckily we had about 23 fire units respond very quickly, and I think that is what saved everyone’s homes from going up in flames. By the time the fire department had one patch out, it would start back up. Our area wasn’t the only fire in the city at the time so we were lucky to have as many units as we did. This ordeal showed me how truly amazing God
is. He was definitely there when we needed Him! Looking at the home directly behind us, we can see that their grass and fence were damaged,
but the fire went all the way around the house without touching it. To me that was a miracle if there ever was one!
Lately I’ve been having a spiritual battle, I have been so consumed with getting pregnant, even more after miscarrying back in early August. I feel that we have a short window of opportunity to have a baby before Josh gets deployed somewhere. I felt with all the bad things that have happened in my life that somehow God owed me one and I wanted to cash in with a child. As a kid I was forced to attend church while living in
Ft. Worth and came to actually despise all things religion—the kind of church I went to can do that to you. Also, seeing what happened at the church my grandmother attended with the rolling of the eyes and the snakes turned me off and made me think how phony this all must be!
And then along comes Josh, a man with a calling for playing the pipe organ. And where do you find pipe organs … churches. I thought, great.
Josh grew up Catholic and had an extensive background in the Episcopal Church. When we found All Saints, it was pretty easy for him. Me … I was so terrified that I avoided Communion because I didn’t know what to do until Father Chip taught me.
All Saints became a family—so much so that Josh and I were married there. When Josh felt that he needed to further his musical talents and
move on to Christ Episcopal, I wasn’t pleased at first. I felt that I was just getting comfortable with this entire Anglican liturgy, and I was forced to go to a place where things were different from what I had just learned. I was so involved with various ministries at All Saints that I felt I
was short staffing people and that we were going to be written off and not allowed back.
Since September we’ve been embraced by the congregation at Christ Church and, thankfully, still accepted by our family at All Saints. It is
very hard to make the choice which church to attend each Sunday. I am in the middle, so to speak, between wanting to support my husband and wanting to be somewhere that is more comfortable and nonjudgmental.
The night of the fire, I was up till nearly 2 a.m. I couldn’t rest my mind and couldn’t stop coughing from all the smoke I had inhaled on top of the illness I already was battling. But each time I looked at something in our home—whether it was my husband or our dog or some stupid knickknack we had—I was brought to tears realizing how truly lucky we were. Josh
seems to think that the winds played a part in the flames taking the path they did, but I don’t think so. It was God; it had to be! When my faith was at its lowest point, He came to make me believe again and put me back on the right path in my mind and heart.
A few months ago, I was sitting in the pews at Christ Church waiting for the service to begin when I had a thought to change what I wanted to
use as a middle name for our first girl. I had always loved the name Emily and chose Rene as the middle name long before Josh and I ever met. But by some overwhelming force, the name Grace popped into my head, and when I said Emily Grace out loud it seemed like it was meant to be. Well, we will have to wait for Emily Grace to enter our world, but I definitely believe in the Grace of God and that He was present that windy day.
Deana Benninger
Liturgy for the Third Sunday in Lent: St. Matthias
February 24, 2008
The Church has set aside saints’ days, (such as St. Matthias today) in honor of the first martyrs, and those in the Gospel most nearly connected with our Lord in the work of establishing His Church. Although we don’t pray to the Saints, we study and emulate their virtues and thank God for their examples. The first record we have of a saints’ day comes from the 2nd century, although it probably existed far earlier. The practice grew from ancient Christians meeting at martyrs’ graves on the anniversaries of their deaths to celebrate their Godly virtues and bless God for their pure lives and heroic examples—a great chance for extra devotions in Lent—extending ourselves for the sake of the Lord in worship, devotion and action. The great truth for us–the saints on Earth are fellow-citizens with the saints in paradise, and all, whether living or dead, are members of one great Heavenly parokia, or parish—the family of God—the Communion of Saints. Like Christians on Earth, our spirits “bear witness” with the saints, because we resonate on Christ’s spiritual frequency—one Faith and one Baptism for the remission of sin. We are all rewired to our Lord’s specification. And, we can take joy in that we are empowered, just as St. Matthias was—to preach the Gospel, regardless of the cost, extending ourselves for the purpose God has for us. And, like him, we have a great company with us to God’s purpose in our lives. For the Kingdom!
Liturgy Lesson for the Second Sunday in Lent: Fast and Feast
February 17, 2008
Frequently, when Christians think about Lent, they consider what they are fasting—giving up—for the season, without realizing every Sunday is a “little Easter” — a “feast day” when Lenten discipline may relent, if done so in honor of the Resurrection. Also interesting–every Sunday is also a “little Lent,” since many among us practice the ancient custom of fasting the communion—that is, not eating until after we take the Body and Blood, and approaching our worship in an attitude of examen—Holy Spirit-powered self-examination before confession. In this way, every Sunday spent in the Lord’s courts are Lent and Easter combined—and model the season to us. We approach the Lord’s Presence by first confessing our shortcomings and hearing His forgiveness proclaimed, then break our fast in celebration of Christ’s mighty Resurrection that grants us access to the King, our Heavenly Father. We might also, instead of giving something up, add worship to our weekly routine—disciplining ourselves by “fasting” some free time to the Lord in services we usually don’t attend, such as choral Evensong on Wednesday nights. Scrub us, Lord—and teach us where we need most to tune our relationship with You!
Liturgy Lesson for the First Sunday in Lent: Silencio
February 10, 2008
In this season of penitence and examen, we frequently search for devotional focus. Such is the ancient practice of Silencio—liturgical silence—designed to evoke in worshippers a sense of awe and reverence of God’s Presence and attention, while recalling St. Paul’s description of times the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us—when words fail us. When practiced in the company of worshippers who have prepared themselves in quiet, Spirit-led devotion, this sense of the Presence is amplified, not only underscoring Immanuel—“God with us,” but also giving us humility and abjection, befitting the creation in the Presence of the Creator. As in the ancient Church, this is most powerfully experienced in the Holy Eucharist, when, just before invoking the Real Presence into the bread and wine, we pause to remember those who are on our lips or in our hearts in the Prayer for the Whole State of Christ’s Church. In these intermissions, we can use Silencio’s sense of awe before our God to provide opportunity for the Spirit to speak to our hearts, as He prompts names for us to speak aloud before the Great Throne in Common Prayer. The Lord is in His Holy Temple—let all the Earth keep silence before Him. His temple is inside us!
Liturgy Lesson for Ash Wednesday: Beginning of Lent
February 6, 2008
Today is the first day of Lent, called Ash Wednesday, derived from the Latin, dies cinerum (day of ashes) liturgy found in eighth century copies of the Gregorian Sacramentary—a worship and devotional guide for the ancient Church. On this day, devout Christians, according to ancient custom, approach God’s altar before the Holy Eucharist starts, where the presbyter (priest), using ashes blessed for worship, thumbs Christ’s cross in ash on their foreheads as a mark of our separateness from the World and our inward contrition before God. Ashes on the head are also a very ancient demonstration of mourning—a broken spirit—and convey our intention to fast to demonstrate our repentance, deepen our life in the Lord, mortify our flesh, and unite us more closely with God in our own spirit. Fasting before God is an ancient, venerable spiritual discipline and not only models many great Old Testament examples, but also follows Jesus’ own practice, teaching us discipline and self-control through self-denial. The important concept here is not the ritual, but a Spirit-led personal desire for repentance and revival to better equip us for God’s work for each of us. If we do this by the leading of the Holy Ghost and in prayer, these devotions and spiritual disciplines can enrich our lives and bring us to a fuller, more personal presence of God with us. May the Spirit, then, so enable us as we walk the Wilderness with Jesus in this season.
Liturgy Lesson for the Purification: God Reigns
February 3, 2008
Today we commemorate The Presentation of Christ in the Temple, commonly called The Purification of Saint Mary the Virgin. Documented in St. Luke 2, since Jesus was Mary’s firstborn, they were required, under the Law, to dedicate Him to God by a sacrifice of a pair of turtledoves or young pigeons—thereby making Him holy to God. The Church’s celebration of this dates nearly to the beginning of Christian worship and belief and is marked by discernment provided by the Holy Spirit to Simeon, an elderly man who, Scripture teaches us, was “waiting for the consolation of Israel”—a phrase that means the calling near of comfort or refreshment of the Messianic salvation, since the rabbis call the Messiah the consoler, the comforter—an early picture of the broader ministry of the Holy Ghost through the Church. Interestingly, Scripture couples this consolation to the term Israel, which means “God reigns.” The facts of the event underscore Jesus’ ministry—then and now, because neither Mary nor Jesus really required the liturgy or sacrifice performed that day. Jesus needed no dedication to God—He was God incarnate, while Mary needed no purification, since she was still a virgin. Interestingly, both submitted as a mark of obedience to God’s way among His people—truly living out the meaning of the word “Israel.” Simeon, being full of the Holy Spirit recognized the infant Christ as Messiah and gave us the words of the Nunc Dimittus, which we chant today as a mark of our own obedience—recognizing, as he did, God’s comforter, Who is still with us today in the person of His Holy Spirit. May God reign among us personally, providing the assurance of His mercy, as He did for Simeon—completing our lives in Him. Maranatha!
Pain Eliminated: Shannon Lindstrom
February 2, 2008
I have been praying fervently and focusing in on Psalm 6 and 41. Then in prayer I heard “ALL SAINTS ANGLICAN CHURCH.” My response was, But Lord, I still feel like crud and don’t want to go to Church like that. Then I checked my e-mail and saw that a healing minister would be there on that Sunday…So I went. I had had a terrible pain on my left ear the past
few days. It felt like someone had literally taken a hammer and smashed my ear. It was still there during the service. Then the minister prayed for me, and, when I was driving home, I felt my ear and the pain was gone. I always try to find a explanation for everything…but that was no coincidence. I believe the Lord is at work in my body.
Father Chip, tell everyone that our God is bigger than cancer, He is bigger than heart attacks and diabetes…and He is bigger than all our problems. Be of good cheer, for He has overcome the world. I wanted to tell folks that myself.
Thanks be to God.
Shannon Lindstrom
Listening Prayer – Lectio Divina
February 2, 2008
“Speak Lord; your servant is listening” 1 Sam 3:10
God speaks to us in many ways: nature, people, and events…how well do we listen?
In listening to God in prayer, we focus on Scripture as God’s word to us here and now. What the text meant to the original writers/ hearers, to others throughout history, may be helpful—but it can also distract from what God is saying to us now. We are not trying to preach mental sermons to ourselves nor discover insights that will be helpful to others. This is a tool to help us hear the Holy Spirit speak to us personally.
In any relationship, there is a great difference between hearing the words and really listening. So being attentive in this form of prayer is essential. Inner quiet, relaxation, attentiveness, total honesty: “God I feel bored, angry, excited, scared…”
• Use only a small passage of Scripture. Taste God’s goodness. St. Ignatius of Loyola called this form of prayer an “application of the senses.” If you wish, you can use the same passage again and again, simplifying, returning to, and resting at that point where you met God. Where God spoke to you. Savouring one phrase, one word. Resting “like a child quieted at its mother’s breast.” (Ps 131:2)
• Scripture is food. It needs to be taken in, chewed over, tasted, to be nourishing.
• PICK a passage. Can have it ready the night before, go to sleep with it, wake up with it…
• PLACE of solitude, where we can be uninhibited about our response, maybe a “special place,” a “prayer corner”…
• POSTURE: relax, do a relaxation exercise, music, candles…but nothing that would distract.
• Seek and expect the PRESENCE of God. “God you are here, you love me into being, you love breath into me, you wish to speak to me …”
• PRAY: Could begin with the Collect for Purity or a confession from Morning or Evening Prayer and the Collect from Trinity 21; then ask for God’s Spirit, for grace to listen, to hear God’s word to me now…
• Ask the Holy Spirit to use your imagination, PICTURE the scene, become involved, with whom do I identify? “That person is me.” (2 Sam 12:7)
• Read very slowly. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you PONDER. Can read aloud. Repeat. Read, Ruminate (Reflect), Respond (PROMISE), Rest. If a word or phrase touches your heart, savour it, repeat it, rest in it, return to it in a later prayer period, carry it in your heart for the rest of the day—for the rest of your life. Don’t hurry. Don’t try to look for lessons or profound thoughts. Expect His Presence and interaction!
Sample Scriptures:
• God’s covenant with me: Is 54, Is 55; Deut 7:7-11
• God loves me and calls me: Rom 8:28-30
• The choice to respond to God’s love: Deut 30:11-20
• Any favorite passages, one that the Spirit brings to mind, a Gospel passage, a Psalm, a prayer or the lessons from the Prayerbook lectionary
All love in the Beloved,
Chip+
Blessed Lord, who caused all holy Scriptures to be written for our learning: help us so to hear them, to read, mark, learn and inwardly digest them that, through patience, and the comfort of your holy word, we may embrace and for ever hold fast the hope of everlasting life, which you have given us in our Saviour Jesus Christ, who is alive and reigns with you, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.
—Collect from The Second Sunday in Advent, 1928 Book of Common Prayer
